Sermon Notes June 1st, 2025: Choosing Love

Choosing Love

“Love…is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself.” (C. S. Lewis)

Many today speak of falling in and out of love

Many times when people choose divorce they will use the statement, I just don’t love you any more

But is love something we can simply fall in and out of

Is it a feeling that comes and goes or is there something much greater and deeper about love

I believe God’s word shows that love is a choice

It is a decision

It is not given because the person receiving deserves it

We are called to love because He first loved us

In marriage this is key because there will be trials and challenges

There will be times when the person we marry may be difficult to love

But by His grace and His power, God can empower us to love

Matthew 22:35-40 (NLT)

35 One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

The word love Jesus uses here is the Greek word agapaō and it means to love. Involves a deep level of affection and intimacy.[1]

1.   This is a love that is not based on feeling or emotion

2.   What determines if we love is actually a decision to love

3.   It is the love that Jesus demonstrates for us

a.    We don’t deserve His love

b.   But He chooses to love and demonstrated His love for us through Calvary

Luke 6:27 27 27 “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. 

1.   To love one’s enemies requires us to choose love

John 13:34 34 34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.

1.   Jesus calls us to love one another as He has loved us

For a husband and wife this is crucial for a strong, healthy, Christ centered marriage

Are there times when we don’t feel like loving our spouse? Yes

Are there times when the person we have married is hard to love? Yes

There is nothing in the bible that tells us that marriage is easy

As we saw two weeks ago marriage is a picture of Jesus relationship with the church

The importance of love

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

1.   Without love regardless of the spiritual gifts we operate in, they are useless

a.    Paul uses both the operation of human and angelic tongues

b.   But without love they are usless as a nosy gong or clanging cymbal

2.   Without Love we are nothing

a.    Paul points out that if we can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge but are without love, we are nothing

b.   We can have great faith, but without love we are nothing

3.   Even if we give all we possesse to the poor or give over our body to hardship or even laying down our lives for Christ, but don’t have love, we gain nothing

4.   Love is essential as followers of Christ

5.   When we are filled and led by The Holy Spirit the outward sign is the love of God in action

6.   When we are abiding in Christ, His love will fill us and will be poured out on those around us

a.   Ephesians 5:25 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her

b.   Ephesians 5:33 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

7.   The only way we can love as God commands in His word is by His power and His grace

8.   A marriage without choosing to love is empty and hollow

a.    We can have the most beautiful house

b.   We can have the most beautiful family on social media

c.    On the outside we can portray we are the ideal family

d.   But without God’s love in our hearts and lives we have nothing

e.    This love is not based on a feeling or emotion

f.     It is a daily choice and is only possible as we abide in Christ

What does Godly love look like?

Paul defines it for us

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

a.    Are we patient with our spouse

b.   Are we kind

c.    Do we allow jealousy, pride, boasting to dominate us

d.   Are we rude to our spouse

e.    Would we be labeled as irritable

f.     Do we hold things against our spouse unwilling to forgive

g.   Are there things in our private lives that are against God and His word

h.   Do we build our marriage and our family upon truth

i.     Are we willing to protect and stand in the gap for our spouse

j.     Have we thrown in the towel? Have we given up

k.   Are we willing to endure in all situation and circumstances

l.     The only way any of this is possible is through Jesus Christ alone

                                              i.     The love God speaks of is supernatural

                                           ii.     It is only possible by the leading and guidance of The Holy Spirit

                                         iii.     Our lives must become baptized daily in the presence and power of The Holy Spirit.

2.   When we look at this list Paul has given us a contrast of those things that happen as a result of being led by The Holy Spirit and living according to the sinful nature

3.   Everything love is, is a picture of the character and nature of Jesus

a.   Galatians 5:22-23 22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

b.   When Jesus Christ is our source, His character and nature will be manifested in our lives

c.    It will enable us to love our spouse as God commands

d.   Regardless of how difficult they may be to deal with at the time

4.   But when we are not led by The Holy Spirit that which love is not will be evident in our lives

a.    When we fail to be led and filled with the Holy Spirit we will have envy, boasting, pride, self seeking, and will be easily angered

5.   Jesus Christ is the greatest picture of love personified

a.    He didn’t love because He had to

b.   He didn’t love because He felt like it

c.    He loved every day because He choose to love

d.   He laid down His life because of His love for us

6.   When a husband and wife wake up every day and choose to serve one another, they have chosen to love one another

a.    They have put the needs of their spouse above their own

7.   Many times may ask whats in it for me

a.    But it isn’t about whats in it for me

b.   We are called to choose love

Strong healthy marriages are built upon Christ

It is a union between two people who have chosen to love and serve one another

Without love a marriage becomes empty and dry

Without love a marriage is no different than two business partners passing each other in the office

But for love to flourish and exist in a marriage we must choose love

We must choose to build our relationship with Jesus and as we abide in Him, He will enable us to love our spouse as He commands

[1] Justin Langford, “Friendship,” in Lexham Theological Wordbook, ed. Douglas Mangum et al., Lexham Bible Reference Series (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2014).